- It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
- I've been arrested for being the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?
- Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains. Rest have Girlfriends.
- Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry u'll find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha
- A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
- Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
- Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!
- Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
- Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.
- Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
- God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.
- A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
- Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
- At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!
- The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?